#9 - Happy Anniversary - Happy Birthday

Date Sent: Wed, Mar 19, 2008 at 3:04 PM

Today is a momentous day. It was one month and one day ago that I was first diagnosed with Pulmonary Hypertension, and one month ago today that our son Harrison was born six weeks early by an emergency c-section in the ICU in Pittsburgh. We were told that I'd be IN THE HOSPITAL for 2-3 months, and look how far God's brought me ALREADY! It's really easy for me to lose sight of that when I get bogged down with how much I CAN'T do yet, or how well I DON'T feel.

I could use some extra prayer today, so hopefully the Holy Spirit is bringing me to your mind now and then. If not, then maybe seeing my name in your inbox will help prompt a prayer or two.

The iv medication that I'm on is called Flolan, and it has a lot of side effects. The intensity of them come and go, but since I've started this AMAZING drug, none of them have totally disappeared. These side effects include: my face and upper body flushing and looking all red and blotchy, severe jaw pain for the first several bites each time I eat or drink something, headache, backache, joint pain, nausea, diarrhea.... Sometimes they're REALLY intense. Yesterday and today have been rough days for me. ...I don't think the rain is helping much either....

When they increase my dosage then these side effects come on really strong for a few days, and then lessen a bit as my body adjusts to the increase. The last time my dosage was increased I was still in the hospital, so that's not the problem this time. There are two - no, three - reasons I can think of for why I'm feeling like this. (1) I've lost almost all my swelling, so I've lost some weight. This means that the medication is a bit stronger since I have less body mass. I'm thinking less and less that this is the reason I don't feel good. (2) I had such a "spiritual high" last week that this week Satan's pushing hard to discourage me. (3) God's healed me SO MUCH ALREADY that my dosage needs to be decreased. Whatever the reason, I could still use your prayer.

Alex (our three year old) could use your prayers too - since I don't feel good, I don't have lots of patience with him. I've been trying to bite my tongue and count to ten, but sometimes I guess I should count to twenty instead. He's only three, and doesn't understand that mommy doesn't feel good. Sometimes mommy doesn't even understand it.

I guess this email isn't as uplifting as many of my previous ones. Today's just a downer day, and I could use some EXTRA prayer. We appreciate the beautiful sunny days more after we have a few of these dreary ones, eh? I'm looking forward to God bringing some more sunshine in my life.

~ Julia