Date Sent: Tue, Mar 3, 2009 at 4:20 PM
I've had several answers to prayer regarding my health/situation recently, and I've considered emailing about them. But I haven't (until now). Sometimes I find myself thinking that "the small stuff" is too inconsequential to pester people about. But I'm so glad that my God is the God of the inconsequentials!
Item #1 - A couple days after I wrote the "Manna" email, I received a letter in the mail saying that there had been a change with our insurance. My continual iv medicine costs $126,000/year, and the pill I take twice a day costs just under $59,000/year. Our co-pay had been $50 for every three months. That was a HUGE miracle in and of itself! Well, this letter said that the company who supplied the medicine was now considered "out-of-network", and we had 90 days to pick a new pharmacy or we'd pay the whole cost out-of-pocket. Problem #1 - I received the letter in the mail 30 days into this 90 day time period - we now had only 60 days. Problem #2 - this is the ONLY pharmacy in the ENTIRE country who supplies both of these drugs. Problem #3 - we were having friends over a few hours later for Aaron's birthday party, and I still had things to do - this was NOT the "most convenient" time to stress about this. So, I took my own advice and decided that God (who owns the cattle on a thousand hills - Psalm 50:10), and provided the Israelites with manna, and has taken care of us so far wasn't about to abandon us now. I prayed about it and went on with the day's activities.
Well, the next day was Saturday, so I had to wait till Monday to phone the insurance company. Monday came and went, and finally Tuesday I started making phone calls. I felt like I was blindly being led around in a circle - no one had any concrete answers for me. So, I "gave up" and put it back in God's hands, and I waited to see how He'd take care of this. One week to the day after I received the letter saying my meds were no longer covered by insurance, I received another letter. This one basically said, "sorry - our mistake - ignore the last letter." Apparently what had happened was the pharmacy (Accredo) had bought out another smaller pharmacy, and that smaller one was "out-of-network". In retrospect, one week isn't that long to be wondering how we were going to pay for $185,000/year worth of medicine. But when you're going through it - it's a VERY long week! But through that experience, I was reminded to "cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (I Peter 5:7) After all, if you're going to pray, why worry? And if you're going to worry, why pray?
Item #2 - As I already mentioned, our co-pay has been $50 for each three months. In January, when one of my medicines arrived in the mail, included was a bill for $125. In the busyness of life, I forgot about it, and when February's medicines arrived, the bill was now $250, and there was a note saying that since my account was delinquent I would receive no more medicine till it was paid in full. Well, I thought this was quite ...odd (considering what my co-pay was), so I started making phone calls. Apparently the insurance company changed some of their policies, and as of January 1, 2009 generics are the same co-pay they were the year before, but brand-name drugs are 3% of the cost up to a maximum of $125. (Well, in our case, praise God for a maximum - paying 3% could bankrupt us!) We weren't told about this change - it just happened. Well, there are NO generics for the two drugs I use - I tried to "argue" my way out of the co-pay, but to no avail. So, I figured God would take care of this somehow. And somehow he did! Our tax refund this year was big enough that we payed off a large bill we had. We had been paying MORE than $125/month on that bill, and now we didn't need to any more. God provided the money for our increased co-pay, but it wasn't how we thought He would. God always "thinks outside the box," doesn't He!?!
Item #3 - Well, this one wasn't so inconsequential. Early Sunday morning a couple weeks ago Alex and I were downstairs (Aaron and Harrison were still upstairs asleep) - and suddenly my pump started beeping this loud, obnoxious, never-ending, make-your-adrenaline-pump BEEP! It was warning me that it had stopped pumping medicine. (If you remember, this has only happened one other time in the past year). The doctors told me that even 5 minutes without this medicine could make me die on the spot - last time I survived the 6 minutes it took to get medicine pumping again, but Aaron was there to help me. Since there was no Aaron this time to help, I was extra nervous. And since Alex was there it was extra important that I didn't let my sheer terror show as I tried to figure out what was wrong, and what to do about it. So, as I pushed buttons and tried to get it started again I frantically prayed, "Dear God, please don't let me die alone in front of my son!" Alex thought this was awfully fun - he had never heard the pump be so noisy before, and he wanted to push the buttons too! Finally I realized that the pump thought it was empty, and shut itself off. So I reprogrammed it and it started again.
After the (seemingly deafening) beeping stopped, and I knew the experience was over, I had Alex go wake up Daddy, and tell him that "Mommy needed his help now, please." Alex did as he was told, and Aaron came immediately (the "now" always brings Aaron running). That was an answer to prayer in and of itself - Alex usually flat out refuses to wake up Daddy, and no amount of coercing him will get him to do it. (On the other hand, he LOVES to wake ME up when I'm sleeping!) So, I told Aaron what happened, and he took over "Alex duty" so I could sit there and get my heart to slow down from the adrenaline and let my body adjust to what just happened.
Since this happened, I've been "rosy" again in the face, and more out-of-breath than I had been for quite some time. But, as time goes on the side-effects of the abrupt stop in medicine are fading. Praise God for giving me a clear mind through that ordeal and bringing me through safely to the other side. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me..." (Psalm 23:4a).
Item #4 - There are lots of "odd" side effects to the medicines I'm on. One that showed up probably two or three weeks ago (for the FIRST TIME EVER!) was nose bleeds. They've gotten progressively worse over these couple weeks, and the past couple nights (for example) I was waking up 3-4 times EVERY hour with blood running down my upper lip. They didn't last long, and there wasn't that much blood, but they had become almost constant - a little trickle of bleeding that just didn't want to stop. For the past several days I had been using a tissue probably every 10 minutes, and there was blood each time. Well, I pulled out the humidifier a few days ago (in case the dry winter heat was playing a role in them), and it didn't seem to help at all. Well, this morning at Bible Study one of the leaders asked for anyone with a need to come forward for prayer. I went. If me dealing with this constantly was God's will, then so be it. But it was a "new" side-effect, and I refused to just sit idly by any longer and do nothing about it. Well, a sweet woman of God (who I got to know a bit better this past Fall, and have come to really respect) came up front and started praying for me and the bleeding to stop. The image that was running through my mind during the prayer was the woman who suffered from bleeding and just touched Jesus' robe and was healed (Mark 5:24-34). At one point while we were praying I thought I felt blood about to run out of my nose, and I prayed a rebuke against the bleeding. I grabbed a tissue, and it was not blood. It's been SIX HOURS and my tissues haven't even had a hit of PINK on them! I fully believe that God has healed my nose bleeds!
Praise God that he cares about even the small details of our life. Nothing is too big or too small to go to Him about in prayer. He doesn't always answer our prayers with a "yes," or the way we expect, but He always hears us and answers our cries. I'm so glad my God is the God of the inconsequentials!
~ Julia
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