On Tuesday morning earlier this week, I had a doctor's appointment in Pittsburgh. So, my mother-in-law kindly watched the boys while Aaron and I drove out and stayed over Monday night. I haven't been feeling the greatest again lately, so we were all curious to see what the doctor would say. Usually Aaron and I take the time to pray together before these appointments, but we didn't this time - we just forgot. We both realized it during the appointment, though. The news we got was mixed. I did a six-minute walk that morning for them, and I walked farther that I had the time before, which is good. He was pleased with the distance I covered. However, the oxygen levels in my blood dropped too low during it (to 87 - he wants it to stay above 90 or I'll need to start wearing oxygen during activity again). Since I was taken off Viagra (since my body could no longer tolerate it), he wants me to start a different pill called Tracleer. Hopefully this will keep my oxygen levels up. He said that if this doesn't work, then I'll have to go back in the hospital for several days and they'll switch me from Flolan to a different iv medicine. He said that maybe my body will respond better to that one (called Remodulin) and my breathing will get better that way. So, I'll start Tracleer as soon as the specialty pharmacy mails it to me. We'll see how that goes, and my next scheduled appointment is in six months. Though we didn't talk about it at the time, we both walked away from the visit quite discouraged. But we both felt that if that's the road God has for us, then so be it. Right after the appointment we had lunch with some of Aaron's colleagues who are in the Pittsburgh area, and then drove home.
On Wednesday night, a local pastor (who's recently written a book) came and gave his testimony of miraculous healing from Leukemia. So, I went to listen to it, and Aaron (who had to work late that day) came in near the end. As I listened to some of the struggles he and his wife went through, I sat there and cried. Our stories have many differences, but there's one key similarity. God gave both of us a promise that despite what the doctors were saying, we would live. He is now on the other side of his big miracle, and I'm still waiting for mine. It was really encouraging to listen to him share.
At the beginning of the evening there was a praise and worship time. During the first song I sat down (I was tired) and started to think. I was about to listen to a man talk about his miraculous healing. Maybe that will be me up there one day. Wouldn't that be awesome!?! But then I let discouraging thoughts come into my mind, and I had a talk with God. I told Him that maybe what He meant (when He told me "it will all end") was that something else will kill me before PH does - like getting hit by a bus or something. I said "if that's what you meant, then so be it." Immediately (within just a second or two) the song changed, and "How Great Is Our God" started. Do you remember me typing about that song before? God has used it to speak to me several times during these past several months. The chorus says that "and all will see, how great, how great is our God." As soon as I told God that I'm okay if He doesn't really want to heal me, He reminded me that HE PROMISED THAT HE WILL. I just need to wait longer.
At one point during the Pastor's six month hospital stay, just as he had finished his third round of chemo, his appendix ruptured. Because his white blood cells and platelets were so depleted they couldn't operate (he would have died on the table). So, they told him that he would live a maximum of 3-4 days. Six and a half weeks later his cell counts were finally high enough to operate. The doctor was shocked to find the ruptured appendix (and all the toxins that should have killed him long before) were encased in a pouch. He couldn't medically explain it. ... He didn't need to. That was just one of the countless miracles he experienced.
As we sat and listened to the pastor talk, Aaron and I began to feel some of our fear (from what the doctor said to us at the appointment) fall off our shoulders. We were reminded that it doesn't matter what the doctors say, or what the results of my tests are. All that matters is what The Great Physician says. We don't know what the next several months will look like, but we do know the end of the story. We need to stay focused on that rather than the hurdles.
After he finished his testimony, there was a prayer time. Everyone who needed a healing of any kind stood, and others surrounded them and prayed and prayed. During the prayer I felt an extreme heaviness in my chest, and then after the weight lifted I could breathe better. Today I feel so much better than I did yesterday morning. (This morning a woman even commented to me that I seem so much better than the last time she saw me!) I'm not completely healed - God told me that I won't be until something specific happens, and to my knowledge it hasn't yet. But something inside of me improved last night! Praise God for every turn in this road we're travelling!
During the service the boys were in their nursery, so they had no idea what the grown-ups were discussing at church. We finally left church last night (way past the boys' bed times!). Before I even pulled out of the parking lot, discouraging thoughts began to enter my mind again. Satan is relentless! And then, my Alex, all on his own began to sing a song that he must have heard somewhere. He sang the same lines as loudly as he could over and over the whole way home. They must be the only lines he knows to the song, but that's okay. God put it into my son's heart to sing the encouragement I needed. "My God is so great, so strong and so mighty - there's nothing my God cannot do - for YOU!"
~ Julia
On Wednesday night, a local pastor (who's recently written a book) came and gave his testimony of miraculous healing from Leukemia. So, I went to listen to it, and Aaron (who had to work late that day) came in near the end. As I listened to some of the struggles he and his wife went through, I sat there and cried. Our stories have many differences, but there's one key similarity. God gave both of us a promise that despite what the doctors were saying, we would live. He is now on the other side of his big miracle, and I'm still waiting for mine. It was really encouraging to listen to him share.
At the beginning of the evening there was a praise and worship time. During the first song I sat down (I was tired) and started to think. I was about to listen to a man talk about his miraculous healing. Maybe that will be me up there one day. Wouldn't that be awesome!?! But then I let discouraging thoughts come into my mind, and I had a talk with God. I told Him that maybe what He meant (when He told me "it will all end") was that something else will kill me before PH does - like getting hit by a bus or something. I said "if that's what you meant, then so be it." Immediately (within just a second or two) the song changed, and "How Great Is Our God" started. Do you remember me typing about that song before? God has used it to speak to me several times during these past several months. The chorus says that "and all will see, how great, how great is our God." As soon as I told God that I'm okay if He doesn't really want to heal me, He reminded me that HE PROMISED THAT HE WILL. I just need to wait longer.
At one point during the Pastor's six month hospital stay, just as he had finished his third round of chemo, his appendix ruptured. Because his white blood cells and platelets were so depleted they couldn't operate (he would have died on the table). So, they told him that he would live a maximum of 3-4 days. Six and a half weeks later his cell counts were finally high enough to operate. The doctor was shocked to find the ruptured appendix (and all the toxins that should have killed him long before) were encased in a pouch. He couldn't medically explain it. ... He didn't need to. That was just one of the countless miracles he experienced.
As we sat and listened to the pastor talk, Aaron and I began to feel some of our fear (from what the doctor said to us at the appointment) fall off our shoulders. We were reminded that it doesn't matter what the doctors say, or what the results of my tests are. All that matters is what The Great Physician says. We don't know what the next several months will look like, but we do know the end of the story. We need to stay focused on that rather than the hurdles.
After he finished his testimony, there was a prayer time. Everyone who needed a healing of any kind stood, and others surrounded them and prayed and prayed. During the prayer I felt an extreme heaviness in my chest, and then after the weight lifted I could breathe better. Today I feel so much better than I did yesterday morning. (This morning a woman even commented to me that I seem so much better than the last time she saw me!) I'm not completely healed - God told me that I won't be until something specific happens, and to my knowledge it hasn't yet. But something inside of me improved last night! Praise God for every turn in this road we're travelling!
During the service the boys were in their nursery, so they had no idea what the grown-ups were discussing at church. We finally left church last night (way past the boys' bed times!). Before I even pulled out of the parking lot, discouraging thoughts began to enter my mind again. Satan is relentless! And then, my Alex, all on his own began to sing a song that he must have heard somewhere. He sang the same lines as loudly as he could over and over the whole way home. They must be the only lines he knows to the song, but that's okay. God put it into my son's heart to sing the encouragement I needed. "My God is so great, so strong and so mighty - there's nothing my God cannot do - for YOU!"
~ Julia
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